1) WWW: Incorporates some theory. written quite well.
EBI: Make Introductory paragraphs into one.
Ensure all spelling and grammar is correct
2) WWW: Excellent wider knowledge and other examples.
EBI: Could use more specialist vocabulary and check grammar.
3) WWW: Good references and use of academic texts.
EBI: Ensure all references are done correctly and in the APA formatting.
Could focus more on genre/narrative
4) WWW: Very good use for theory and ideology linked to investigated text.
EBI: Could link Richard Dyer and Medhurst's theories on representation.
ibid needs to be in lower case and in italics.
Need to cut down investigation to 200 words
Need 1 more book reference to get to 10
Put a quote in conclusion
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